Celebrating Bi Visibilty Day: Slagtember Edition

Happy Bi Visibility Day, you Sexually Liberated And Gorgeous menace. It falls smack in the middle of Slagtember this year, which tracks, because nobody does “unapologetic” quite like a bi person who’s spent their whole life getting interrogated about who they’re really into.

We’re not doing a terminology explainer. You know what bi means. You’ve had the “so which one do you actually prefer” conversation more times than you can count, you’ve been called greedy, confused, a phase, a layover on the way to gay, “basically straight” when you’re with a guy and “just experimenting” when you’re with anyone else. You’ve heard it from straight people and, let’s be honest, you’ve heard it inside queer spaces too, from people who should know better, gatekeeping who counts as “really” queer like there’s a bouncer checking IDs at the door of the community. Bi erasure doesn’t clock out when you walk into a gay bar.

So skip the 101. Here’s the actual guide: how to get it on with any gender, unbothered, for people who are already fluent in this.

The “greedy” thing is a feature, not a problem

Somewhere along the way, “attracted to more than one gender” got twisted into “will sleep with anything that moves,” which is both reductive and, if we’re honest, kind of a lot of pressure to live up to on a random Tuesday. You don’t owe anyone a balanced portfolio of partners across every gender to prove your card is real. You’re not running a diversity quota. Sleep with whoever you’re actually into, in whatever ratio your actual desire dictates, and let the discourse be someone else’s problem.

Also worth saying out loud: you are not a threesome prop. If a couple’s opening line involves the word “unicorn,” that’s your cue to leave, not your cue to perform. Bi people get treated like a fetish accessory constantly, and it’s exhausting pretending that’s flattering instead of just gross.

Read the person, not the gender

The actual sex tip, since that’s what we’re here for: throw out whatever mental script you’ve built for “how it goes with a man” versus “how it goes with a woman” versus anyone else. Bodies vary wildly within any gender, not just across them, and showing up with a preloaded playbook is how you miss what’s actually in front of you.

Ask what they’re into. Ask what words they use for their own body and use those, don’t hand someone a script that fits your last partner. The hottest thing you can bring to bed isn’t a gender-specific technique, it’s actually paying attention.

Safer sex, every time, no exceptions

This is the part people skip and shouldn’t. Risk depends on the actual bodies and acts involved, not on a gender label, and “well it’s probably fine” is not a sentence that should ever leave your mouth mid-hookup. Get tested regularly, ask your partner’s status, use barriers that make sense for what you’re actually doing, every single time, with every single person. Being a slag doesn’t mean being careless, it means being liberated enough to have the conversation without flinching and then enjoying yourself fully because you did.

You don’t owe anyone a scorecard

You can be bi and monogamous for a decade. You can be bi, single and sleeping with one gender exclusively right now. You can be bi and have never slept with more than one gender at all. None of that is a contradiction, and none of it requires a defence. The people asking for your receipts were never going to be satisfied by an answer anyway.

This is your season

Slagtember exists so queer people can be sex-positive without apologizing for it. Honestly, bi+ people have had to fight harder than most for the right to just be horny in peace without a whole committee weighing in on what it means. So take the invitation. Be exactly as slaggy as you want to be, with whoever you want, and let this be the one week nobody gets to ask you to explain yourself.